As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
Well to start off, my head has not been behaving herself ever since the end of Ramadan, for those of you that do not understand what I’m talking about, I’m referring to my cluster headaches, so please keep me in your duas inshAllah.
Okay, so tonight I’d like to give my thoughts on love, and to be specific, love born out of relationships before marriage.
One of the things I realised after I became practising, is that you know with these relationships, what it becomes about is that your purpose in life is about pleasing him, as well as getting him to please you and vice versa. Your contentment comes out of fulfilling these two purposes, which are linked in with what exactly? This ‘ultimate’ purpose of fulfilling your desires of companionship. If you ask me it’s a very selfish kind of ‘love’, even if you both think what you’re doing is out of love for the other, really it’s because you’re weak for this person, to the point where your desire for love and companionship becomes first. I know this may sound cynical, it’s not that I don’t believe in love, I do, in fact for those of you that may have noticed, on my ramadan daily to do list, I did put down “Make dua for a righteous husband”, ahah. But what I’d like to point out here is this that too much of something is never good for you.
A friend of mine has decided fairly recently to become practising, so Alhamdulillah as a result, she made the decision to leave the non-permissible friendships of her past, in order that she may strengthen her imaan. What has also happened in amidst all of this, is that she and one of her male friends ended up really liking one another, to the point where he has recently asked to be engaged to her. This boy has constantly been contacting her so that she may still be in contact with him, saying all sorts such as “I see as you as my wife,” & “please talk to me at least once a month”, where my friend has explained time and time again that ‘we can talk where it’ll be halal in the future, why can’t you wait till then?”
But this is the thing, he the poor sod wont understand that because where she has left him solely for the reason that she can practise her Islam, and make herself a stable place in the afterlife, he unfortunately does not live for that purpose and he cannot see the greater good of what she has been trying to do, and so instead of aiding her in this by leaving her alone, his need to have her by his side, because he’ll miss her as well as all of the potential moments they possibly could be sharing together, he can’t see beyond these desires of his, and is blind to the fact that being in a relationship will indeed make them a couple whereby they are hand-in-hand taking their steps towards the fires of hell. Yes, his need for companionship gets the better of him, and this is why this man is selfish with his ‘love’ for her. Her being by his side, is for him and his mental state, not for her and her willingness to move on for her afterlife.
There are more things I’d like to speak about, but it means that there are very many concepts in the future I’d like to go in to depth with in the future. But for the time being, please make dua that I can manage this as well as my other duties inshAllah.
Also please do see what’s happening to our brother’s and sisters in the muslim world. Please make sincere dua for them inshAllah. I pray that we all live to fulfil our duties in this world, towards our selves, in that we are dutiful to our friends, families, teachers etc, and our ummah across the world.
This is Apple starting to get back on track again Alhamdulillah!
JazhakAllahkhair for reading~