What did her death mean to you?

Back in January the 14th, my 17 year old best friend had passed away at the cause of cancer. Initially the way that I had dealt with it was that not even 2 days after her death, I decided I would stop crying. And for about a month I managed to do just that.

It just so happened a few weeks later in February, my older brother came in to my room, and had showed me a passage from a book he was reading. This is what it read…

3.4.5. Two believing friends and two disbelieving friends.

Amir al-Mu’mineen ‘Ali (رضي الله عنه‎) was asked about the words of Allah (سبحانه و تعالى‎),

“Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except Al-Muttaqun [the pious].”– Quran 43:67.

‘Ali (رضي الله عنه‎) said:

Two believing friends and two disbelieving friends. One of the believers died, and was given the glad tidings of paradise, then he remembered his believing friend and said, “Oh Lord, my friend So-and-so used to tell me to do good and forbid me from doing evil, and he told me to obey You and to obey your messenger (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), and he told me that I was going to meet You, so do not let him go astray after I am gone. Guide him as You guided me, and honour him as You honoured me.” When the friend dies, they will be brought together in paradise, and it will be said to them: Let each one of you praise the other. So he will say, “Oh Allah, he used to tell me to do good and forbid me from doing the evil, and he told me to obey You, and to obey Your messenger (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), and he told me that I was going to meet You. What a good brother, friend and companion.”

Then one of the disbelievers died, and was given the tidings of hell. He remembered his friend and said, “Oh Allah my friend So-and-so used to tell me to do evil and forbid me from doing good; he told me to disobey You and to disobey Your messenger (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), and he told me that I would not meet You. Oh Allah, send him astray as You sent me astray.” When the friend dies, they will be joined together in hell, and it will be said: Let each of you praise the other. So he will say, “Oh Allah, he used to tell me to do evil and forbid me to do the good; he told me to disobey You and to disobey Your messenger (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), and he told me that I would not meet You. What a bad brother, friend and companion.”

After reading this, I felt like it had killed me. I felt as though she (my best friend) would ask Allah (سبحانه و تعالى‎) to lead me astray… For the truth is that even though I was with her for a full 6 and half years, I don’t feel as though I had ever done the justice of actually being a good friend to her. The friend that counts in the sight of my Lord. See I had become practising just shortly before her passing, so during the time I was with her, there wasn’t anything I felt I did that would have benefited her in this life nor in the hereafter. Instead, I did much of the opposite unfortunately…

Anyways, I don’t mean to write all of this as a means of getting you all to feel sorry for me. Because as much as I fear the accountability that’s on my neck because of what I didn’t give her, as well as the crap I did give to her, I swore to myself that I would never ever allow myself to waste a friendship ever again inshAllah. This is my resolve, as well as what I had taken from her death.

See the thing is, relationships are sacred. We don’t value it, until the other person goes missing, or inevitably dies. We think that what we do, or say, or the way in which we behave with others, won’t matter. When in actuality, it does. We can’t appreciate the weight of this, so we may continue to do menial things with our friends. We end up falling in to a long-term delusion where death is not a reality.

Okay, so the first thing I’d like you to consider is how we mustn’t take our friendships lightly. The second thing is this that amidst all the crap you guys may do together as friends, that so long as there is no Islam in it, no enlightenment, no reminder of what it is you should be doing in your life, don’t think that you’re not going to blame your “friends” for it on the Day of Judgement, no matter how chummy and loving of each other you may be right now. And this isn’t even me saying it, this is what Allah (سبحانه و تعالى‎) is saying.

Just thought I should share my own feelings regarding how sacred the relationships we have with people are. Some of you may either take this as a reminder, others may need to start thinking about how it is they can go about changing themselves, so that they can start doing the best for other people, otherwise feel free to live to regret it forever (in this life, and in the hereafter), or die facing Allah’s (سبحانه و تعالى‎) punishment for serving this injustice to not only yourself, but to other people too.

As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakahtuhu.

Apple, serving you a reminder for the start of this new month inshAllah~

🙂

Back in 2009.
Both my best friend’s hands/fingers are present, and one of my hands is also present.
I’ll leave it to you to guess who’s hand belong to who 😛
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3 thoughts on “What did her death mean to you?

  1. As salaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu Tasnim…

    Reading this has made me smile but let me Tell you something, the ‘crap’ you did give my sister wasn’t so crap.. Your every Smile would give her a reason to smile back, you presence during her hospital appointments gave her the support she needed, it gave her comfort. Your conversations on the phone were very helpful, it allowed her Mind to escape from thinking about treatment, UCLH, pic lines and her illness. Iv told you all this before and i tell you again, she appreciated your friendship so much, she had alot of respect towards you and most of all was proud of your efforts towards her. So she will not be the friend to ask Allah, to lead you astray as you were the one who encouraged her to pray during school hours, every thing counts.. And I pray Allah gives you his blessings Insha’Allah and most importantly, keeps you on this path you have taken… Alhumdulillah you will be rewarded.

    Much love.. Nabilah 

    Like

  2. It was sad yet wonderful reading this. Sad because of the pain it must be hovering over you to lose someone so close and wonderful because of the value relationships hold.

    Not much of a friendship sort of a person so I guess I am bailed off LOL. Kidding.

    Thank you for the beautiful write up.

    Like

  3. Well as much as I miss her, I’m glad that I was able to take something valuable from her passing, because when calamities befall us, we should be able to take lessons from it, otherwise not only are we upset, we also end up getting really depressed, as we don’t catch the light of it, hence we end up as total losers. Enlightenment is just so precious.

    Ahah, well this doesn’t just apply to friends you know, it includes everybody you interact with really. 😛

    JezhakhAllahKhair my dear.
    ❤ 🙂

    Like

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